New Moon Drama

I realize I haven't posted in a good while, but I felt compelled to make this a post on my own blog when I realized how long a comment it would be on someone else's. I don't read andPop.com regularly, and actually, this was the first time I'd hear of it. I realize it has nothing to do with my normal topics on the surface, but reading is one way I "escape" my crowded little apartment. Most days, I read something, anything, be it for 10 minutes while the kids are sleeping or all evening when Ron's doing the laundry, and so when I find a book or a series I enjoy, I like to read all about it, the good and the bad. The Twilight series was such a fun read for me, my husband, my friends, and my nieces, that I'll be disappointed not to see the movie (even if it's as bad as the first was), but I still want to make an informed decision as to whether or not I, as a grown up Catholic who is charged with setting an example for my nieces especially, should be taking said nieces to see a movie people in the Vatican are condemning. This is what led me to the blog in the link above, and this is my response to the comments and the blog itself:

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I'm not 100% sure here, but I believe the "esoteric element" he was referring to was not the fan base, but the feeling the teenagers watching it have of power b/c they believe they know something that is only meant for a few, i. e. the "fangirls" who believe they have some secret insight into the occult and vampires in general b/c they are uberfans of Twilight. This feeling may lead some unchaperoned or unprepared (or simply immature) viewers to take more of an interest in such things than is healthy. Also, I agree with David in his comments. People don't seem to understand that there is a huge difference between the people in the Church, and the Church Herself. Just as there is a difference between the opinions of the POTUS and the actual foreign or domestic policy, or even better, the Constitution. The media simply plays on this lack of understanding to pain the Holy Father and/or others in the Church as people devoid of an understanding of popular culture. The fact of the matter is that Catholic culture and pop culture are very rarely going to see eye to eye b/c the former has it's eyes focused on heaven, and that latter, on earth. To another point, simply calling something "fiction" and "harmless" does not make it so, and in fact, in some cases, makes it more dangerous than so-called "facts". People tend to treat fiction lightly, not understanding that just b/c it is a fictionalized story does not mean that the basic human behavior it portrays is the real story, and not the vampires and werewolves running around. In the same manner, just saying that satan and evil in general are the stuff of make-believe makes them more powerful as people then are no longer on the lookout for what may be tempting them to wrong. All in all, I am a fan of the books. I actually find Edward to be a morally acceptable and even exceptional character, whose ethics fall much in line with my own, and I am a practicing Roman Catholic and follower of Church teaching. (Please do not read "saint" here! I am a sinner, like everyone else, I was simply trying to clarify my intellectual position.) I make my own decisions, but take what people in positions of "power" in the Church have to say into consideration when making them. I am left wondering if the good monsignor means simply the movie or the novel as well. As we all all know, the first Twilight movie fell far short of the novel when it came to capturing the generally Christian and redemptive message the latter held.

Well it's been a long, been a long, been a long, been a long day...

Yeah, that title is long, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. Hester is busily crying her eyes out in her crib right now as I am making her "cry it out" this week. We've had our ups and downs, mostly ups, but she's still crying before each nap and before bed. On Tuesday morning, she only cried for 5 minutes before falling asleep, but then he rambunctious brothers woke her up with their playing after only a 45 minute nap. The bottom line is that yes, it does break my heart to listen to it, but it would break my heart even more if I had to listen to it later on. You know, when they start speaking? When they can actually say/shout "Mommy!!!! Mommy!!! Mommy!!! Daddy?!". Such is the life of a parent.

To combat the sadness of this week, I decided that we absolutely had to celebrate the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary on the 7th. The boys and I baked mini cupcakes. (By the boys and I, I mean that Rimmy helped a lot, Seton helped a bit, and Ransom stood on a chair, giggling, and refusing to touch the scary, loud mixer.) We even used my brand spanking new "Catholic Cuisine" apron, which I love btw. It has pockets!!! Yes, I

know. I'm too excited by those pockets. What can I say? It's been a rough week. Anyway, back to the cupcakes. We made a cupcake rosary with them on the kitchen table and had the Byers

over to celebrate. It would have been perfect if we had actually all said the rosary together, but as our group was made up predominantly by the pre-school set, and it was after dinner, we opted to just say, "Yay Mary!!" and eat. This is not to say that I didn't explain the reason for the holiday to the boys in the morning while we were baking, complete with having them hold their own rosaries, but there's only so much a 4 year old will get out of the Battle of Lepanto. We settled for them understanding that the BVM goes by many names, and that this is one of the many celebrations we have throughout the year for her. We talked about how awesome it is that she wants us to ask her for help just so that she MAY help us, and that her petition of choice is the rosary. I think that's pretty good for little kids.

Also in the news this week, I have been knitting up a storm. I had to fully frog my Project Linus blanket because, quite frankly, it turned out awful. It was warping in the worst way, and as I tend to do, I ignored it until it was completely unavoidable. It was more trapezoidal in shape than rectangular, and so it has gone the way of the yarn bag.

After giving up on that though, I made a lovely little shrug for Hester. Yes, I made a shrug for a baby, and it has actually been perfect for this can't-make-up-its-mind weather. It's just a little something extra on her shoulders and arms to keep out the chill, but not enough to overheat her when the weather changes.

After completing the shrug (in record time for me, I might add), I began work on my next two projects simultaneously. The one is a pair of knee high slipper socks for Maureen's bday. I have one completed, and it would have been both but for Hester's not letting me put her down all day long all week long last week. I think the total amount of time spend actually knitting the one sock was about 3 or 4 hours, so I should have had the pair done in time for her birthday on the 4th. Unfortunately, I had to give her one knee high slipper sock at her party, and while that upset me, I believe the look on her face made up for my own disappointment. It was a mixture of surprise and a feeling of awkwardness at not knowing exactly what the hell it was she had just received. I could just see that thoughts flashing across her face: "Oh! How nice! Bridget made me...um...a skinny Christmas stocking? Is there something I'm missing? Maybe there's another...*checks the bag again*...No? Ok. Um...*and then out loud*: Thanks! It's great!". LMAO I then explained to her the situation, and that I was taking it back so that I could make sure the second one matched the first. She seemed relieved. That scene from Veggie Tales kept running through my head: "Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel..."

And now the second sock would be just about done if it hadn't been for two things: I'm still working on another project which, being as I've already missed the deadline for Maureen's bday, is more pressing as I have a chance of finishing it on time, and as I was working away on it last night, I totally forgot to do any decreases on the leg. I was basically done the entire leg and hadn't decreased once. That's the problem sometimes with "easy" projects. I tend to think to myself that it's an easy one, and just keep knitting, and never check the instructions until, hours into it, I look up and notice that it's not quite the correct shape or size. So, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, I frogged back the the first decrease and started over. Only a night's worth of knitting gone. No biggee.

My second current project I could tell you about, but then I'd have to kill you. All I will say is that it falls into the knitting category of "Awesome".

And that, my friends, concludes today's section of aimless ramblings. I now have to keep the boys occupied and quiet as noise doesn't have to travel far from the living room to the nursery as they share a wall, and I really don't want to have to listen to another half hour of Hester's sad cries.

Walk Off the Weight

So, I've decided to do it...as soon as my second cold in 3 weeks is gone. Pray for me people, I need to get in better shape!

Walk Off the Weight

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So apparently, I want to become a nurse...

At least, that's what I'm starting to feel like.

Ron and I have been discussing him changing career paths lately, because, let's face it, working at a non-profit in the social services never made anyone rich. The simple fact is, having a large family requires a certain amount of money. It doesn't require much more than having a small family, honestly, but it does require a bit more. For instance, if children are close enough in age, one set of clothing can easily be worn for several years by different kids. If you buy the right clothing from the right stores, you can really get a great deal of use out of it before having to send it either to charity or the trashcan. Having 4 or 5 kids insn't much different than having 1 kids when it comes to things like clothing and toys. Feeding 4 or 5 kids is different, but by making some slight "sacrifices" (if you can really call it that) such as buying the store brand instead of the name brand, a frugal homemaker can "make it work", as Tim Gunn would say. That being said, more money is needed for things such as more house, because people take up space., and that's something you just can't share. (It's silly how that whole physics thing works, isn't it?)

Looking at all our options, we've both been thinking of his becoming an APN. It will mean a couple of years of hard work getting his RN, for starters, and then a few more to get his APN, and possibly his Masters. What makes all this furthering of education worthwhile, you might be wondering? To begin with, he'd be making a far better living doing that than doing this, and that's just with the RN. If he manages to get his APN, forget it. We'd be...good. We're not looking to become rich. If we wanted that we wouldn't have decided to get married in the first place until we had things in place, such as a house, 2 cars, and lot's of money in the bank. We are looking to make a decent life for our family, doing good and necessary work, while raising our children as good Catholics, and this is where the nursing option comes into play. Being a nurse would afford us all of that.

Why do I feel like I'm trying to become a nurse? Well, as all us married ladies know (or maybe it's just me -- I'll consider that possibility), our husbands generally need a nudge or two or ten in the right direction sometimes, and often, a good bit of help to get to where they want to be. After all, we are supposed to be their "helpmates", right? In helping Ron right now, my second full time job (you know, after the whole homemaker/mom thing) is researching RN programs at local community colleges, making appointments with admissions contacts, and generally scheduling all of Ron's "free time" with activities that will help us reach our goal quickly and in the most efficient manner. I didn't do this much research before starting at Seton Hall, hence why I feel like I'm the one getting ready to enter the nursning program.
At the moment, we're considering both Essex and Bergen County colleges, each for their own benefits. Obviously, we live in Essex, so it's less expensive and close to where Ron works. Bergen, on the other hand, has a better laid out, more clearly defined, evening nursing program that would fit better into his already busy schedule. On the down side, it's also about twice the cost when all is said and done, but all will definitely be said and done inside of two years, whereas at Essex, it could drag on for three or more. Both will mean a great deal of work for both of us. Ron will have at least two to four nights of classes each week, and that means that I will have the same nights on my own with the babies for dinner, baths, and bed. We'll have to weigh them and pray over them, and hope that St. Rita will help us make the right decision.

In the end, the main goal is to get to a point with his career where we won't have to worry quite as much about money as we do now. (I guess though, if we really have the faith we profess to have, we shouldn't be worried in the first place.)

So, if Ron becoming a nurse means that in two year's time we can get a house of our own, and have a bit more financial stability, then that's what we need to make happen. And if to make that happen, he has to be out of the house more, and I here "alone" more, then so be it. It'll give me the chance to catch up on all those sappy romances he doesn't really like to watch but indulges me in when he can't help it.

blue is the color

I am so fed up with this blanket. I'm trying to be charitable and suck it up and just make the darn thing, but I find myself running in the opposite direction every time I have the chance to sit and work on it. Tonight, for instance, I actually chose to wash my dishes and tidy up the kitchen rather than sit and crochet. My quandary now is whether I should work as hard and fast (and well, it is for charity, after all) and finish it double quick, or put it aside and work on something I actually enjoy for a while, perhaps even starting a new project for a friend. I hate situations like this and try to avoid them as much as possible.

Being, however, stuck in just such a situation, I feel the need to figure out why I hate it so. It's not that difficult a question to work through, actually. First, I hate making blankets in general. Blankets are tedious things. Generally, it's the same stitch over and over and over again, ad nauseam. I'm currently in the "ad nauseam" stage at the moment. I was actually interested in this one for a longer while than is usual for me. It's a progressive stitch afghan, so it starts at the corner and grows out along 2 sides, forming a square. Never having done one of these before, it piqued my interest. My interest wanes. Second, this one is taking a particularly long time, as I'm making it for an older child/teen. Project Linus needs these bigger blankets because, let's face it, it's much easier (and often more pleasant) to make an adorable, small blanket for a baby than it is to make a larger, generally not as "cute" blanket for a big kid. Third, it's summer, and things that start as small corners grown eventually into full on lapghans, which then cover your legs. It's finally gotten warm out, and I'm spending evenings under the cover of a blanket. Uh uh, not cool.

I need to pray. I need to be inspired to finish this blanket before the fall when a child will actually need it for warmth, as opposed to for security. I wonder who the patron saint of crocheters is. I think it should be a bishop, if there isn't someone already. And no, a patron saint of knitters does not "cover it".

i'm not a rabbit...

i need some west...

I'm a so tired today, I can barely type. I'm not sure exactly why toady it is hitting me quite as hard as it is. I can't honestly say I have no idea why I'm so tired, when in fact, I have several quite plausible ideas as to why it may be. Take for instance my 3 month old, Hester. She has an odd fascination with waking up several times a night to be fed. I haven't figured out why she feels a need to eat at midnight...and 2AM...and 4ish...and of course we can't sleep in after all that. We simply must be fed at 7AM as well, before deciding to sleep most mornings until elevensies. The real problem isn't that she needs to eat so often. It's that I have 3 other kids to care for all day long. By the time I head to bed around 11 or so I'm done. I've had it and then some and would love to just get in a solid 5 hours or sleep all at once. That hasn't happened since some time back in March. You see, she stopped letting me get enough sleep about a month before she was born. Wasn't that kind of her? She must have been trying to help me ease my way back into the new baby lifestyle that I now have. Hester's always so sweet like that. So, that could be one reason I'm so tired all the time.

Another related reason is that I'm in pain. My neck has been hurting for the past month and half at the point and my lower back isn't feeling much better. I haven't had a full range of motion in weeks, and what I have is generally painful to use. I think it's from a combination of things. When Hester wakes up, I try to get out of bed, sit on the couch and nurse, and then place the sleeping baby back in her bassinet before returning to bed myself. Unfortunately, what usually happens is one of 2 things: A) I do get up and sit on the couch, but I'm so tired, I fall asleep there and spend the rest of the night sitting up on the couch with the baby nursing on and off at her leisure; my head falls forward and then snaps back up periodically, causing some of the neck pain; or B) I don't get up; I instead have Ron bring me the baby, she lays in bed next to me, nursing on and off all night. One would think this a win-win situation. One would be wrong. While I am "sleeping" it's not very restful having to remain on my side, awkwardly at that, all night long to nurse the baby without falling on her. As my neck is constantly in pain, the way I hold my head is key, which keeps me from actually getting a good night's sleep, even if I spend the whole night in bed. It's a vicious cycle. I sit up, which hurts my neck, so I lay down, which hurts my back, so I sit up...you get the picture. Either way, it all adds up to me being constantly exhausted.

Oh, another theory as to why I'm tired, as if the first one (or 2) wasn't enough: there's the matter of the other 3 boys and Ron and the apartment and the being well over weight and the lack of exercise and the...yeah. All of that.

You would think this would make me try to cut back...on just about anything. For instance, take a nap in the afternoon when the kids are all either asleep or resting in front of the TV. Nah, that's when I blog here. Perhaps go to bed earlier? Well when would I crochet or knit if I didn't do it after the boys went down? Hmmm...maybe try simply dinners to reduce time spent cooking. That's silly. However would I incorporate things like Scapular cakes and St. Anne Watermelon Sugar Cookies into our daily lives if I did that? Again, you get the picture.

Oh well. I have a child whimpering at me for more juice, as if he didn't just down the cup I got him 20 minutes ago. The joys of motherhood.

scapulAR, people, scapulAR!

So, the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel was this past Thursday. I was inspired by reading the Catholic Cuisine Blog and decided that I, too, should make a cake shaped as near as possible like a scapular. Well, the best laid plans and all that coming to fruition, here is my attempt:

Notice how it ends in an ellipsis? That's because of my poor planning, or should I say, my poorly executed plan. I had every intention of getting to the food store by Tuesday night and it just did not happen. I was at the beach all day Wednesday, and couldn't get to the store in time on Thursday, so I was stuck working with what I had in my pantry. It turns out, I had about half as much of the proper icing, no chocolate frosting, and no cake mix. I made a milk- and egg-free cake from allrecipes.com, turned vanilla frosting into chocolate with the addition of too much cocoa powder and some veggie oil, and used the one tube of icing plus the Wilton's cookie icing I always keep on hand to the best of my ability. I'm sure the BVM was happy with my efforts. I know my kids were. Even Barbara and Ron liked it, and neither they nor I are huge fans of "scratch" cakes. Better living through chemicals (and store bought cake mix) I always say.

As for the day at the beach, all the preparation was worth it for the most part. (So I guess really most of the preparation was worth it?) The boys loved the sand, were more or less well behaved, and Rimmy even made it into the water before the day was out. Literally. Right before we headed home, he decided he NEEDED to get into the ocean in a last ditch effort to extend our stay. Will I be doing this again any time soon? Probably not until next summer, but at least I know I can do it now. It's not nearly as scary as I thought it would be.